• sophiasalmassi

Patrick Keane

Updated: Jan 26, 2021

Growing up I never thought about comedy being smart or cheap but I see it now. It's not a choice, it's just what I like. Bill Murray, Gene Wilder, Phil Hartman, Mike Myers, Monty Python, John Hughes. Seinfeld.

What comedian most inspires you?

I love Seinfeld and Garry Shandling. Also, Zach Galafianakis and Bill Burr.

Which comedian scares the shit out of you because you know you'll never be that good?

Carlin and Pryor and Hicks and Rock. They're so good and covered so much. I don't see anyone ever being as good as them. They had balls to take on an audience. I don't know if I have that. My disposition is more like Brian Regan and Jim Gaffigan.

How and why did you get into stand up comedy?

I got into stand up because I always liked writing comedy and it was the quickest way for it to be seen. I prefer acting and writing and would still like that to be the focus. Stand up never was bad enough to quit. someone would make me stop sometimes. I'll quit if I can get a writing job.

What drives me to do what I do?

I used to think comedy was just a side thing. That it wasn't the center of our culture. I see now how important it is. I see how controlled people are with what language they can use and they're slaves to society without knowing it. Comedy is the only thing I could do. I've tried other jobs and didn't care for any of the lifestyle that an office job had. Corporate talk, business talk is nauseous. People talk to each other like this? I like talking without filter. Not that I swear or speak in graphic tone, but I like to be free. At least as free as I think I can be. I don't see that in so much society. I see people dying and sick from lifestyle. Lifestyle of trying to live up to what's socially acceptable. Family, kids, house, cars, schools, social standing. It's laughable and said and pathetic to me. There are so many people living that way who don't want to. It's fine if that's what you want, but it shouldn't be the expectation.

Describe your perfect Tuesday.

My perfect Tuesday is waking up to Monday night football score. Look at the news, write a little. Work out. Write. Usually two writing sessions a day. Not necessarily stand up writing. Some screenplay writing. Some social media silliness. Some corporate branded short form ideas. 

Best sofa you've ever slept on?

Best sofa was my buddy Frat's house.

What's the best piece of advice a comedian ever gave you?

Best piece of advice was Bill Burr saying not to worry if you're staying on someone's couch. Worse to be in your 30's in a loveless marriage. Better to be living your dream.

What's the worst piece of advice a comedian ever gave you?

Worst piece of advice I've gotten in comedy is "find your voice." Fuck that. Be funny. 

On a scale of 1-10 how hungry are you right now?

I'm about to eat so I'm excited. Don't know how people do it although I'd like to do it someday. Would love to get back to my weight when I lived in Asia.

What's the best chicken you've ever tasted?

Best chicken I ever tasted was shredded chicken in the Salt Lake City airport. So weird. My friend Eric Sitter in Toledo, OH makes the best barbecue I've ever tasted. He has a restaurant there called Sidelines. I spent a lot of time there. 

What's the furthest you've travelled for the least amount of money?