The Weird Nucleus.
Interviews with my favourite comedians (and other distractions).
Weird Facts
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Tiernan Douieb
comedian
Favourite ice cream
This is the hardest question in the world. I did get to have a whisky and butterscotch ice cream in Tokyo in 2015 that I still think about most days.
Turn Ons
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Kindness, ability to laugh at even the darkest of things, being able to tell me to shut up, being able to say you’re wrong about something.
Turn Offs
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Being a total dick, thinking Gregg Wallace is ok, Nazism, having sticky hands
Winter fashions dos and don'ts
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Do wear nice warm clothes.
Don’t run around in your pants, your bum will freeze off. Fact.
(I have a favourite beanie hat that I get very excited about wearing in the winter)
Barbara Brownskirt
Poet
Favourite Ice cream
Vanilla - ALWAYS, and don't mess with it
Turn Ons
At the moment - the thought of my bus stop & Judi Dench's small tree she grew from an acorn in a jar.
Turn Offs
Boring, opinionated men or anyone who shouts down the ladies and non-ladies.
Especially Donald Trump - luckily my poetry helped burst the orange balloon.
Winter fashion dos and don'ts
Always keep your hood up, thermal vests which cover your bottom and kidneys, thermal pop socks which don't cut off the blood supply to the knee. Wear your inner rage in your poetry, so it fits just right.
Jethro Bradley
musician,comedian
Favourite ice cream
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All of them. Lock me in the factory with a big spoon and when I'm finished you can knock down a wall and roll me out.
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Turn Ons
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People who can play a musical instrument or dance are sexy. Certain accent s. Opera. Kubrick films. Rubber and leather are pretty cool. Not sure I can carry it off though. I saw Dale Winton walking through Soho in a leather catsuit once and I thought, It's very niche. I reckon I could get away with a biker jacket.
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Turn Offs
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Shouting. Small talk. Shouted small talk. Remakes of classic films. Most popular culture.
Winter Fashions dos and don'ts
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Do wear your scarf casually and uselessly tossed over a shoulder like an Etonian schoolboy or Tom Baker in Doctor Who. Don't make a loop and tuck an end through, this is what is known as a twat knot. Also, do wear thermal underwear when scaling a mountain. Don't wander round in a shopping precinct in December in shorts... "but I'm hot" Yes and you're leaving yourself nowhere to go. If your legs are out now you'll be in a thong before April.
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Neil Green
International Scrabble player (retired)
Favourite ice cream
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Now, vegan Ben & Jerry's Peanut Butter & Cookies. Historically, raspberry ripple
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Turn Ons
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A woman who's not afraid to bring a hot water bottle into the marital bed.
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Turn Offs
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Seasonal affective disorder.
Winter fashions dos and don'ts
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DO wear long johns at the football
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DON'T leave your gloves on the bus
Patrick Keane
Comedian, actor, producer
Favourite Ice cream
Boomchoclatta - Ben and Jerry's
Turn Ons
Reads books, observes, cares, self love
Turn Offs
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Tattoos, loudness, ignorance
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Rebecca Kaplan
Comedian, writer
Favourite ice cream
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The vegan chocolate ice cream from Ample Hills or Blue Marble.
Turn Ons
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Reading is pretty sexy.
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Turn Offs
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Lack of critical thinking.
Winter Fashions dos and don'ts
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Do wear a mask and dress warmly.
Don't wear a white faux fur coat until it gets grey and tatty or else people *will* make fun of you, speaking from personal experience.
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Jeff Japers
Musician, comedian
Favourite ice cream
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Rum and Raisin
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Turn Ons
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Jazz fussion
Turn Offs
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Gordon Ramsey
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Winter fashions dos and don'ts
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Do : Layer up baby it's cold out there
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Don't : Onesies - unless you're two.
Jenan Younis
Actor, artist, writer, comedian
Favourite Ice cream
Bubble gum flavour - you know the one that is neon blue stains your tongue semi permanently and probably radioactive ..
Turn Ons
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Stationery? (Especially vintage fountain pens...) oh and don’t get me started on glass dip pens... caligraphyyyyy
Turn Offs
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Spurs supporters, Audi drivers. Beemer drivers too, especially white exterior black leather interior types - RED FLAG SIGNS
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Winter fashion dos and don'ts
Tweed coat + hoodie + oversized jumper + ungroomed eyebrows
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Noah Britton
Comedian, musician, professor
Favourite ice cream
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Light switch.
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Turn Ons
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Light switch.
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Turn Offs
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Light switch.
Winter Fashions dos and don'ts
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Light switch.
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Atsuko Okatsuka
Comedian, presenter,
producer
Favourite ice cream
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Ben and Jerry's Strawberry cheesecake.
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Turn Ons
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Confidence.
Turn Offs
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Confidence without regard for other people.
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Winter fashions dos and don'ts
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Layer up, don't skimp if it's cold
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Dawn Smith
Ex-librarian, fun mum, founding member of
The Weird Nucleus
Favourite Ice cream
Pistachio or mint choc chip.
Turn Ons
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Hair. Being funny. Playing guitar. Political activism. (did 17 year old me write this?!)
Turn Offs
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Lack of self awareness. Pretension. Being a fucking Tory.
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Winter fashion dos and don'ts
Layers are your friend. Uniqlo heat tech anything. Scandinavians know their stuff when it comes to winter coats, and who can resist a good beanie or beret?
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Don't - Your disgusting fur coat...(see Sophie's badge from the nineties), fast fashion Christmas jumpers.
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Sophia Salmassi
Professionally ill, mother of large child, founder of
The Weird Nucleus.
Favourite ice cream
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I prefer cheese.
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Turn Ons
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Busy brains, large northern men.
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Turn Offs
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Low energy indie boys with no sense of humour, inability to understand context, magical thinking, lack of self preservation,
inability to pass wind, tense nervous headache, dizziness and nausea.
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Winter Fashion dos and don'ts
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Don't let anyone tell you what to wear.
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